


Below the Surface

by Blue_Night



Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alliances, Anal Sex, Bonding, Confessions, Convergence, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Happy Ending, Important Talks, Intimacy, M/M, Names, Negotiations, Post Season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-10 07:09:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15944309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night
Summary: Todd and John have come on board the Hive of a Wraith Queen who agreed to negotiate an alliance with Atlantis. But there are some things Todd and John need to come to terms with before they can build such an alliance...





	1. Realizing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cecio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecio/gifts).



> My dear Cecio,
> 
> now that you have an account I am finally able to gift you with a special story about John and Todd. This is my small thank you for your wonderful constant support and for your feedback right when I was about to leave the Stargate fandom for good. I hope that you will like this story! :-)  
> The Wraith Queens I included here are based on my two closest friends, who are very, very dear to me, I couldn't resist to finally let them make an appearance here in this fandom as well. <33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd and John visit a Hive to negotiate with its Queen. This leads to Todd and John realizing some things about themselves and their relationship...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear Cecio,
> 
> this has turned out to be different from what I'd actually had in mind when I sat down to write this story for you, I hope you will like it nonetheless.

“It's been a long time since we've last seen each other, Commander.”

The Queen was smaller than most Wraith Queens were, but the aura of power and wisdom surrounding her made up for her lack of size more than enough. The Primary hadn't been that tall either, and yet she had ruled over the other Queens for millennia until Todd had ended her sovereignty together with her life.

“Yes, my Queen,” Todd bowed before her with the respect she deserved as the uncontested ruler over ten powerful Hives, and he didn't fight her when he felt her touching his brain. She had once been his Queen, and Todd still felt the same devotion towards her he had felt thousands of years ago when he'd still been a young officer and not experienced enough to be a Commander himself.

Sheppard beside him shifted his weight uncomfortably, but Todd ignored him, holding the gaze of his former Queen without wavering when she filled his mind with her own calm and powerful presence until she seemed to be everywhere inside his head and his body.

She looked back, her surprisingly dark-golden eyes staring into his own as if she wanted to reach into the deepest parts of his soul, crawling under the surface of his superficial emotions and thoughts to learn by heart what lay beneath it – what he had carefully hidden and bottled up for so long.

Todd blinked when the Queen finally released him from her gentle but firm grip, her golden gaze shifting to focus on the hazel-eyed human standing beside him instead.

Sheppard made a small sound of distress he couldn't keep inside, and he tensed up when she rose to her feet to leave her throne and descend the few stairs until she stood in front of them.

John's self-control was astonishing when she reached out to briefly touch his chin, unfazed by the fact that she had to look up at him. He barely flinched, but his jaw must be hurting from the way he gritted his teeth when he forced himself not to pull away from her feather-light grip.

Todd knew how much it cost the human colonel to stay still and not back away from her, as Sheppard's encounters with Wraith Queens had always ended badly so far, and a man with lesser self-control than he possessed would already have broken down under her intense scrutiny.

The human and the Wraith Queen stared at each other for a rather long time, and it was Todd who flinched when she suddenly spoke up again.

“Commander, bring Colonel Sheppard to the guest quarters and see to him getting something to eat and to drink while he's waiting.” She didn't need to raise her voice or turn her head when she expressed her wishes, no male Wraith on board one of her Hives would ever think of disobeying her orders.

Todd could feel the cool breeze grazing his cheeks when her own Commander standing behind them bowed before his adored ruler and then waved silently at Sheppard to follow him. They weren't telepathically connected, but the waves of concern, anger and confusion radiating from her first in command were not to miss, and Todd actually understood him better then he would have liked. He knew her for much longer than her faithful and still rather young Commander did, no wonder that he was worried about perhaps losing his command because of Todd's unexpected return to her Hive.

“Come with me, Colonel Sheppard,” his counterpart said tersely, the only other male Wraith who had been allowed to stay with his Queen while she welcomed her negotiation partners in her throne hall. It was apparent that he didn't want to leave her alone with Todd, whom he must consider as his rival, but she ignored her Commander's discomfort, looking back at Todd again.

“We have a lot to talk about, Commander,” she said, and Todd bowed before her again, feeling John's eyes upon his back when the colonel turned his head several times on his way out.

“Yes, my Queen,” he agreed, following her in the direction opposite the entrance where the private quarters of the Wraith Queens were usually placed.

The next hours would show whether or not an alliance between Atlantis and the most powerful alliance of Hives would be possible, and Todd was determined to do what was necessary to achieve that goal, no matter which price he had to pay to make that happen.

 

***

 

Sheppard was standing before the translucent part of the pulsing Hive walls to stare outside when Todd entered the guest quarters hours later, and he didn't turn around when he felt Todd's presence, his shoulders stiffening ever so slightly under Todd's silent gaze.

The hazel-eyed colonel with the messy dark hair had slung his arms around his midsection as if he was feeling cold, and Todd stopped near the entrance, waiting for the human to acknowledge his presence. The food on the table was untouched, a clear sign for Todd that Sheppard was distressed.

He'd come to know the extraordinary human quite well over the last years since they had met in Kolya's prison, but sometimes he was still a mystery to Todd, keeping his thoughts and emotions perfectly under control. But not today, because Todd could literally taste Sheppard's anger and hurt on his tongue.

Not that Sheppard had any right to feel hurt and betrayed. He had never allowed Todd to come close enough to him to be more than allies, reluctant and unwilling allies at first as the lethal enemies they'd been back then, forced to cooperate out of sheer necessity and the strong will to survive. Later they had learned to respect and even trust each other to some point, working together when a temporary cooperation held some advantage for both of them.

Sheppard had finally started to act like a true friend after Atlantis' return to Pegasus months ago, but he'd always been very careful to keep some distance between them, and Todd had never dared to overstep the line and tell the remarkable human how he really felt about him. He knew that Sheppard found him attractive in a sexual way, but he wasn't sure that John was even aware of his desire for his alien ally and friend, and he hadn't wanted to ruin their blooming friendship by addressing this delicate topic.

Physical intimacy had a different meaning for head-blind humans than it had for a telepathic species like the Wraith were, and Todd didn't know enough about the taboos and the culture of Sheppard's home planet to be sure how he would react if Todd approached him in a sexual way.

He was actually taken aback by Sheppard's demeanor and the waves of anger and hurt coming off of him, and he really didn't know what he'd done wrong. He had done what he had needed to do to prove to his former Queen that their willingness to negotiate with her was serious and honest. Atlantis needed this alliance as much as the Wraith needed it, and Todd was the link between these two so different races, the warranty that the negotiations wouldn't go wrong and another war break out between the New Lanteans and the Wraith.

“What's angering you so much, Sheppard?” Todd finally asked when the silence between them stretched to an uncomfortable extent, and the colonel's shoulders slumped a little bit with the exhaustion he must feel. Todd swallowed when he realized that John must be standing before the window for hours by now, standing there without moving or seeing to his human needs. John was a trained soldier, but remaining in the same position without drinking and eating was nothing he could take without tiring.

“You've let me wait here alone and without any information for hours,” Sheppard retorted after some seconds, his voice controlled and impassive, but Todd could hear the slight trembling in it with his sharp ears nevertheless. “I thought that we're equal in this.”

“We are, Sheppard. Wraith don't measure time the same way as humans do. A few hours are not as long for us as they are for you,” he gave back calmly, and Sheppard snorted. He loosened his grip around his waist to rub his left temple.

“Yeah, how could I forget about your immortality,” he chided himself ironically, but he sounded so damn hurt that Todd felt a lump in his throat. “I'm sure that you had a lot of catching up to do after all the centuries you hadn't 'talked' to each other. Or perhaps even millennia. Not that it would actually matter for a human with the lifespan of a mayfly compared to you!”

“We've indeed talked about the past. It was necessary to re-bond and re-build the trust that had once been between us, Sheppard. You do want to make this alliance between her and us work out, don't you?” Sheppard flinched visibly at his choice of word 're-bond', but he sighed and eventually turned around to look at Todd when he heard him including himself in the circle of the New Lanteans by using 'us' instead of 'you'.

“I'm sure that your 're-bonding' was much more pleasurable than being trapped here all by myself and without any notes from you was for me. Not to mention that your...uhm... 'talk'... let time pass much quicker for you than it passed for me,” John murmured, looking lost and defeated, bereft of something that must have been very important to him.

Todd needed a moment to realize what John was referring to, and it stunned him into shocked silence for a couple of seconds. “You're thinking that I have lain with her, Sheppard!” he exclaimed when he had found his tongue back again, trying to understand what was actually going on. Never in a million years had Todd expected the human to admit his desire for him that openly, and surely not on board a Hive shortly before their negotiations with a Queen John didn't know or trust.

“Have you not?” John's jaw worked, and his beautiful hazel-green eyes shot angry fire at him when he lifted his chin up to glare at him, but there was the tiniest spark of hope flickering over his features as well.

“No.” Todd slowly moved closer until he reached the table, pulling a chair to sit down on it and look up at John who was for once taller than him because he was still standing near the window.

John blinked, apparently surprised. “You did not sleep with her? But what was it that took you so long to come back to me, then?”

Todd sighed, gesturing to the chair next to his seat. “Please sit down, John. I fear that this talk will take us a while. As I said before, Wraith measure time in another way than humans do.”

John slumped down on the chair, and he didn't object when Todd poured him some of the yellow beverage in the carafe that was standing in the middle of the table, together with two glasses. He took the offered glass to sip from the juice, and Todd inhaled deeply Sheppard's scent that changed almost instantly from the sharp stench of beginning dehydration to his usual tempting scent of healthy and strong male. Todd had stopped seeing John as 'human' and 'food' a long time ago, and his scent didn't arouse the wish to feed on him any longer, but the desire to carry him to the next available bed and listen to his screams of pleasure and ecstasy.

“Yep, you did. No need to point that out again. And don't tell me that you wouldn't have obeyed her if she actually had ordered you into her bed. Not after all this talking about 'the devotion to a Queen is engraved in our genetic code' and such shit!" John avoided Todd's gaze as he said that, lifting the glass to his lips again to hide his blushing and his expression from him. It was a lost case because Todd's perfect night vision made him notice every little detail in the gloomy quarters, and John knew that too of course, but it was understandable that he tried to keep his dignity.

“You're jealous, John Sheppard.”

Todd's words were more a statement than a question, and they sounded as surprised as Todd actually felt.

John didn't answer, just stared at the greenish wall behind Todd. Another silence fell over the gloomy Wraith equivalent to a human living room, and Todd truly wished not for the firs time that John would allow him to link their minds and let him explain everything in the much better and simpler way of sharing his thoughts and feelings with him.

“You don't have to be jealous, Sheppard,” he said at last, and John gritted his teeth and shot him a quick sidelong glance. “I'm not jealous! I'm just annoyed because I was trapped here for hours like a prisoner! Is this the way how Wraith treat their allies?”

“If there is something between two of them that needs to be sorted out at first, then yes. And the other Wraith would accept that and wait patiently. But patience is not a common human virtue, I've already noticed that beforehand.”

“Humans don't have enough time to be that patient!” John snapped, and Todd leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms before his chest.

“We don't age, but we can be killed, so not all of us have more time than humans do. And you are jealous, John. I can see, hear and smell more than your human allies do, so please stop pretending that you're not.”

“No need to remind me of your 'skills', Wraith!” John growled, but without much emphasis. He paused, then sighed. “Perhaps. A little bit. I just didn't think that she would be your type, I guess. She has something, but she's not like the other Queens I've met so far. It's not only her rather small size, but her entire appearance. Her black dress is not like one of those magnificent ball robes I know from the Queens I've met before her, it looks more like the female complement of your coat, and her hair is shorter and not tied and curled to the usual complicated hairdos other Queens like to wear. And her behavior... I doesn't know how to explain... she doesn't give me cold shivers. She doesn't look as dangerous as the other Queens did, and that's making her even more dangerous in some way, I guess.”

Todd smiled at him. “She would surely be pleased about your description. And you're right, she is not like the other Queens you've met so far, John Sheppard, and definitely not dangerous – at least not to us.”

John darted him another short glance. “I've always thought that you like danger, Todd.”

Todd chuckled. “That depends on the danger and the situation, Sheppard.”

“Hmm, I see. I just thought that you, that she...” John didn't finish his sentence, and he pursed his lips with a sigh, changing the topic abruptly. “Daniel Jackson taught me some things about the importance and the meaning of names when we were stuck on Earth.”

“He did?” Todd gazed at John. He had done some research himself when he'd realized the true depth of his feelings for the infuriating and infatuating human he couldn't forget, and he'd actually been pleased when he had learned the origin and meaning of the name John had chosen for him. He was aware that John hadn't given him the name 'Todd' for those reasons, but it was an honorable name nevertheless, and Todd had come to like it over the years.

“Yes. I think that Mathilda would be a good name for her. It is an old Teuton name, and it means 'powerful fighter'. Very appropriate for a Wraith Queen with ten Hives under her command, right?”

“I think she will like that name, John. She's no threat to you, I can assure you.” Todd unfolded his arms and put his flat palms onto the table. “And to answer your question: no, I wouldn't have obeyed her, nor would she have ordered me into her bed, not with how things stand between us.”

John frowned, but he relaxed visibly. “What do you exactly mean with 'how things stand between us'?”

Todd contemplated his next words carefully for a moment. John regarded him, but he waited patiently, sensing that Todd needed a few minutes to collect his thoughts. “You're right that the devotion towards our Queens and the will to please them are engraved in our genetic code. Our way of procreation is different from yours because of our close relationship to the Iratus bug, but the insemination itself is the same as it is among humans, it requires the mating act between a Queen and a male Wraith. Plus, Wraith know sex not only as a way to procreate, but also as a pleasurable past time and to form strong bonds between two individuals. Wraith do know love and devotion to a special person, this is not only a human thing and also not reserved for our Queens only, John.”

John's blush deepened, but he listened silently, only nodded tersely when Todd looked at him. “There are only few Queens compared to the numbers of male Wraith, and our Queens have to lie with several male Wraith to grant variety and avoid degeneration when they wish to procreate. They sometimes choose a mate to share their bed and life with, but most male Wraith never get the chance to be chosen by a Queen for more than their genes as you can imagine.”

John turned his head away, staring at the wall again with an impassive face. “I can't believe that you belong to those poor males. You are for sure someone most Queens would be happy to have as their mate,” he murmured, and Todd felt warmth pooling in his stomach at John's grumpy but honest compliment.

“Uh, thank you, John. You're right that I have been the mate of my first Queen for several decades, but this has been long ago, shortly after the war against the Ancients, and it wasn't her. You must understand that physical closeness is different for a telepathic species, John. I know that it is a great deal for most humans, but having sex can never be as intimate as having another being in your mind is. That's the reason why so many Wraith refuse to come closer to humans, even to their worshipers. They need the telepathic bond. It is possible to bond with a human partner too, but only if they accept that bond, otherwise it would be rape and oppression, and no Wraith would do that to someone they truly care about.  
There are a whole lot more male Wraith than females as you pointed out correctly, and most of us share physical intimacy with other males. It is natural among the Wraith living on the same Hive, but it also happens with Wraith from other Hives. It is casual most of the times because the Hive-mind we share is enough to satisfy our desire for closeness and love, but it happens that two Wraith fall in love with each other and become mates. Such bonds are respected and valued, and no Queen would order one partner of such a relationship into her bed without the consent of the other one.”

Todd went silent, waiting for John to get the point of what he'd just told him without actually saying it. The hazel-eyed colonel was normally slow when it came to such things as Todd knew, but this time he was much quicker on the uptake than Todd had expected him to be. He gazed at him from under his lashes, his fingers clenching around his glass.

“But we are not mated. She wouldn't have needed my consent.”

“That we haven't slept with each other doesn't mean that we're not mates, John. My feelings for you are nothing I could ever hide from a Queen, and your jealous reaction was the final proof I needed to know for sure that you return them. Our bond is strong and obvious for every Wraith, even for the drones.”

“You have feelings for me, Todd?”

John blushed when he caught Todd's glance. “Okay, stupid question. So I was jealous for no reason.”

“Indeed, John Sheppard. You're the most remarkable being I've known in my long life, and I have considered you my true mate for a very long time.” Todd reached out with his feeding hand to offer it to the hazel-eyed colonel. John regarded it for a moment before he closed his fingers around Todd's, looking down at their entangled digits.

“I think that I've felt the same way for a long time as well. I have fought against my feelings for you for various reasons, mostly because I'm not really good when it comes to serious relationships. Your Wraith nature didn't make it easier, but I think that you being male was my biggest issue.” John paused, and Todd could see that he was surprised about his own words and sudden openness. Todd gently squeezed his fingers, encouraging him to go on.

“I'm military as you know quite well, and it was forbidden to have an open relationship with someone of the same gender for us for years. It isn't any longer, but old habits die hard, and there are still reservations and prejudices when it comes to that. I couldn't admit that I felt attracted to other men and especially to you even to myself, and this has started to change only after our return to Pegasus. Earth is more than two million light years away, but her shadow still lingers, I fear. I don't think that the others would mind us being together – except for Ronon, of course – but I was still struggling with my feelings for you after our return.”

John lifted his head up to look at Todd. “But today, when I saw the way you were looking at her, all I could think of was that I was about to lose you without getting the chance to tell you how I'm feeling about you. I've never seen you looking at anybody like you were looking at her, Todd.”

“But not because I desire or love her that way, John. I simply knew what would happen when we were alone, and I wasn't sure that I would ever see you again afterwards.”

“Oh, I see.” It was clear to see that John didn't understand anything, and Todd sighed. “I knew that I had to bare my mind to her if we wanted this alliance to work. I knew that she – Mathilda – would know everything after that. Everything about my time in Kolya's prison and my failed attempt with the retro virus that killed my crew. Everything about my feelings for you and the Super-Hive and my former second's betrayal and mutiny. But most of all she would know that I was the one killing the Primary, and I expected her to punish me for that.”

John's eyes widened in realization. “You were afraid that she would kill you for that in return."

“I thought that she would probably do that, yes, John. And I realized that I wouldn't be able to tell you how much you mean to me, and that was what I regretted the most.”

“But she didn't.”

“No, she didn't. I still don't know what it was making her spare my life, but I am grateful that she did. I'm not even her prisoner, and she wants to negotiate with us and form an alliance with Atlantis.”

“I'm indebted to her, then.” John smiled at him, and Todd squeezed his fingers again, feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. John was finally ready to admit his feelings for him, and maybe he would even be willing to become Todd's cherished mate one day. Todd had learned to wait and be patient over the millennia, and John was worth the wait, would always be – no matter how long that wait would actually be.

 

***

 

“My sister Queen and I are pleased that we have come to an understanding, Colonel Sheppard, Mr. Woolsey! I am sure that our alliance will be strong and bring peace to our galaxy,” Mathilda said rising to her feet. She had come to Atlantis after their first negotiations on board her Hive, and she had brought another Queen with her to sign the contract that would hopefully bring peace to the Pegasus Galaxy.

The sight of twenty huge Hives circling in an orbit over the City of the Ancients had been pretty scary at first, but the New Lanteans had learned quickly that they didn't need to fear those Hives and their two astonishing Queens.

Mathilda's sister Queen Helena followed her example, and Todd suppressed an amused smile when he saw some of the Marines gaping at the two female Wraith in amazement. They were for sure an impressive sight, both of them beautiful in their own special way. Mathilda was small and dark whereas Helena was tall and fair, but it was the kind and warm look in their golden cat's eyes that differentiated them from the other Queens the New Lanteans had had to deal with after their arrival in Pegasus, this and their willingness to treat their human allies as equals.

“I feel the same way, Queen Mathilda, Queen Helena.” Richard Woolsey was the perfect diplomat and gentleman, bowing before them and taking their hands to blow a kiss over the back of their elegant rights without showing any sign of fear.

Mathilda and Helena looked surprised but truly pleased at the so far unknown human courtesy, and Todd searched for John's gaze when he followed the Queens to the pier where their Darts were waiting.

John returned his gaze with a brief smile, and Todd smiled back, thinking about how much his life had changed since he'd met John for the first time. So much had happened since their flight from Kolya's prison, and their bond was stronger than ever. He and John had achieved what nobody living in Pegasus had ever thought possible, and the future that lay ahead of them was bright and promising.

Mathilda and Helena climbed into their Darts after a last goodbye, promising to come back soon to talk about the progress they were making in finding a cure for the feeding problem. Four Hives would protect Atlantis from hostile attacks in the future, and some of their allied Wraith would join the SGA-teams in the future.

Todd stood beside John when the Darts spiraled themselves into the blue sky, and when he felt the touch of John's hand, he enclosed it with his fingers, watching the Darts becoming smaller and smaller together with John until they were finally out of sight.

 

***

 

The moon was shining onto the calm water surface when Todd found John sitting on one of the piers with a bottle of beer in his hand. The hazel-eyed colonel was watching the blinking lights the silvery rays threw over the tiny waves, and he moved to the side invitingly when Todd sat down beside him.

“That went much better than expected,” he said, turning his head to look at Todd. “I think I like Mathilda and Helena. They are not like the other Queens.”

“Yes, they're not,” Todd agreed. He took the bottle to sip from the beer when John handed it to him, imaging that he could still feel the warmth of John's lips where they had touched the brim of the bottle only shortly before Todd had joined him.

“Did you really mean it, Todd? That every Wraith would know that we're mates, I mean?” John asked after a while, and Todd pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Yes, John, I have.” He wasn't sure what John was up to, and he didn't want to dwell in false hopes.

John looked at the dark water surface again, and Todd thought that he was like the sea, calm and untroubled at first sight, but dark and deep below the surface. Todd would never grow tired of trying to explore the depth of John's thoughts and emotions, never grow tired of trying to learn how John's amazing mind was working and what he was secretly dreaming of and longing for. It would take more than a lifetime to really get to know the most remarkable human in two galaxies, and Todd was willing to spend the rest of his life with learning what John truly wanted and needed.

John stood up without a word, but he smiled down at Todd and offered his hand to him. “We should finally prove them right then, shouldn't we, Todd?” he asked quietly, and Todd looked up at him and let the hazel-eyed colonel pull him back onto his feet.

“Yes, we should, John,” was all he said as he walked to John's quarters together with him, side by side, and he knew that he would follow John wherever he decided to go from now on. John was the mate Todd had always longed for, and this would never change, no matter what the future would bring.


	2. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd and John have finally reached John's quarters to spend the night together, but there are some things they need to understand at first before they can become true mates...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear Cecio,
> 
> I swear I wanted them to become mates and make love in this chapter, but Todd insisted on more talking. He's a pretty philosophical Wraith I fear. I've always disliked with all my heart how one-dimensional the show was, especially when it came to the Wraith. They were the bad guys because they had to feed, while the humans were always the good ones, even when they drew pleasure out of torturing and killing other people (whether they were Wraith or humans) so obviously like Kolya for example did. I do believe that there are a lot of Wraith not drawing pleasure out of having to kill sentient beings in order to survive, and Todd asked me to write about his side and experiences. I hope that you won't be too disappointed that there is only talking in this chapter, the next one will all be about their night, I promise you. :-)
> 
> My dear readers,
> 
> thank you so much for all your lovely feedback for my last updates and works, it is my biggest motivation to write for this fandom and it makes me really happy. So if you like this chapter, please let me know and leave kudos and comments for me and my boys! A huge thank you to all who will do that!! <33

Todd had been in Sheppard's quarters a couple of times before, but he had never allowed himself to take more than a brief look around. They were probably rather small and simple for the military leader of an Earth outpost – but Todd knew Sheppard well enough to believe that the colonel with the beautiful hazel-green eyes wasn't the kind of guy making any fuss about a set of rooms he used for not much more than sleeping.

But the Wraith couldn't help but feel curious about John's private quarters nevertheless, and this time Todd stopped when the door had whooshed shut behind them to take a closer look at what was John's home in the hope that he would be able to take a look under the seemingly calm surface of the deep unknown waters John actually still was for him.

The furniture was what Todd knew from the Ancients, and it was clear to see right at first sight that John hadn't changed much about it. A laptop on the table looked like John's private one instead of those Todd knew from the expedition equipment, and John had something Todd recalled as an Earth compact music system on one of the shelves. A few books were sitting on the other shelf, but the biggest one lay on the nightstand beside the bed with a bookmark somewhere in the middle of the several hundred pages it must have.

The pillows and blankets on John's bed didn't look like the usual scratchy military bedding but more like John's private belongings as well, but apart from that John's quarters bared the personal touch that would have given Todd more insight in how the man his thoughts circled around far too often for his peace of mind worked and what he did in his rare free time. There was something that must be a musical instrument leaning against one wall, and Todd remembered that John had once told him that he liked to play a guitar when he had visited Todd in his small gray prison cell in the Cheyenne Mountain complex - where Todd had spent most of his time when Atlantis had been stuck on Earth. He guessed that this instrument was said guitar John had spoken of, and he hoped that John would play it for him one day.

Todd slowly turned his head, and it was only then that he became aware of John watching him attentively and with a slight frown between his eyebrows. He gazed down at him, and John's lips twitched into a brief smile. “Did you expect something else?” he asked quietly, and Todd shrugged his shoulders, a typical human gesture he had adopted during his long time dealing with the creatures that had always fascinated him so deeply opposite to most of his brethren who considered humans to be weak and food only.

Humans weren't weak at all. Some of them perhaps, but human mankind in general was not. They were tough and endued with a strong will to survive – especially those humans who came from a planet called Earth and which was more than two million light years away from the Pegasus Galaxy. Todd guessed that these strong-willed humans even put the Ancients to shame when it came to curiosity, determination and strength. John's expedition team was almost ridiculously inferior in numbers compared to the Wraith and the Asurans they had encountered a couple of years ago, and yet they had been able to defeat the Asurans in the end – something the Ancients, their creators, had tried to do without being successful.

There was so much more about these amazing beings than it showed at first sight, so much more lying below the surface of their seeming weakness and lack of physical or mental skills, and Todd would never grow tired of learning more about them and getting to know them better.

They had fought against the Wraith and survived even though the Wraith outnumbered them by millions, they had defeated the Super-Hive and saved Earth and were now about to form a strong alliance with some of their former lethal enemies. They had done all of these things without having a large army of individuals or robots and only thanks to one special and remarkable human man Todd admired more than he'd ever admired anybody in his long life of ten thousand years.

John was still waiting for an answer, and Todd pulled himself together and made a vague gesture with his glove-covered feeding hand. “I don't know, but I think that I would have expected your quarters to have more private things, now that it is clear that you will stay in Pegasus,” he mused, and John mirrored his gesture and shrugged his shoulders as well. “I don't need more stuff. It's probably strange coming from someone who has grown up in a huge villa with servants and a lot of money, but the lifestyle of my deceased father has never been my preferred way of life.” John paused with uncertainty shining in his eyes as he returned Todd's thoughtful scrutiny.

Todd possessed a lot of money too, actually, as even Wraith needed money to trade with now and then, but he'd never been the one caring much about money and possessions either. It was only that his own quarters on board his Hive had a much more personal touch than John's quarters had, including things that held memories he cherished deeply – or dreaded, depending on what kind of reminders they were. Todd had always believed that bad memories belonged to life as much as the good ones did, defining the being that held them, and he didn't want to forget the bad things that had happened to him or which he had done because they belonged as much to him as his good deeds had formed him

Todd blinked to clear his head when his photographic memory wanted to take over control of his thoughts, looking around in the room again that served as both a living room and a bedroom at the same time.

The guitar in the corner and the heavy book on the nightstand seemed to be the only things John truly cared about, and it was hard to get to know someone who didn't want to talk about themselves if there even weren't other things Todd could rely on to dig a little bit deeper and take a look under the facade John kept up so desperately to protect his privacy.

“I didn't think of that kind of stuff, John,” Todd tried to explain, “but I thought that you would have some pictures about your family or the friends you had to leave behind – some reminders of things you've once liked or so.”

John went over to the window to stare outside. It was apparent that it was easier for him to talk about such personal matters when he didn't have to face Todd. He crossed his arms before his chest as if to protect himself, and Todd hesitated for a moment before he finally followed him to step behind him and wrap his arms around John's midsection from behind. It was only a loose embrace, meant to tell John that he could free himself if this close contact was something he didn't want at this point.

They had of course touched each other before this night, even shared the most intimate touch that existed when Todd had first ripped John's life out of him and later given it back to him when they had hardly known each other and had still been enemies. But his embrace now was not the touch of an enemy, ally or friend, but the touch of the lover and mate Todd wanted to be for John, and he could tell by the way John stiffened for a split second that John knew the difference from their former touches.

John didn't push him away like Todd had expected him to do though, and after a few seconds, he even pulled his arms closer around his waist and entangled their fingers. “There is not much I want to be reminded of,” he murmured after a long pause of silence, “not much I have regretted that I had to leave it behind. Sometimes, it's better to forget and not be reminded of what you've lost again and again.”

“That's true, John. But aren't such memories what define us as sentient and intelligent beings – even the sad or horrible ones? What would we be without our past and our memories?”

John sighed. “Even if they come back to haunt you in your dreams when you're trying to sleep again and again?”

“Even then, John. I know that most humans wouldn't believe me if I told them, but I still remember the first human I fed on when the hunger raged inside my hardly full-grown body. Not because of the photographic memory Wraith possess – and surely not because I enjoyed it so much either. I had of course watched my brethren feed on humans before my first feeding, but watching another Wraith feeding on a human man or woman hadn't prepared me for my own first experience draining another intelligent and sentient being dry only the slightest - as I had to learn when the time had finally come for me as well.”

John was tense in his arms, and Todd regretted that his story reminded the human of his own horrible experience being fed upon, but it was important for John to understand him and to know who the alien male he wanted to welcome in his bed and in his life truly was. Todd had never drawn pleasure out of having to kill other living beings in order to survive. It was one thing to drain one of his enemies whose only goal was to kill him and extinct his entire race, but it was a completely different kind of matter to trap helpless humans who couldn't defend themselves and keep them in the cocoons of a Hive before finally ending their misery and horror by killing them in the worst way imaginable. Todd had always preferred to feed on other soldiers and warriors who had at least the chance to defend themselves and perhaps defeat him when they fought against him, but there had been more than enough situations when this hadn't been possible at all.

The last time Todd hadn't had the chance to choose whom he wanted to feed on had been when he had helped McKay finding a cure for his sister – when John had brought this man to him. Todd had broken down because of his hunger, and he would have died within the next day if this human hadn't agreed to sacrifice himself. Todd didn't know what John had said or done to convince the other man to let himself be drained by an alien, and he also hadn't asked him, too weak to refuse the offer of a man who couldn't know what he'd just agreed to. He and John had never talked about it again, but Todd knew that John still hated himself for what he had done, that he actually blamed himself more for the death of this man than he blamed Todd for that.

Todd sighed and focused on what he wanted to tell John, sensing that they needed to get this out of the way before they could actually become mates in every sense of the meaning. “They brought me to the section with the cocoons when the hunger became too strong to bear it any longer. I had tried to hide my state for some time, but my Queen of course sensed what I was doing and finally ordered me to feed. Two of her officers had to support me because I could barely walk any longer.”

“I'd thought that every Wraith would be looking forward to their first feeding – to the sign that they are finally mature and 'true' Wraith.” John's voice was more thoughtful than accusing, and he leaned back against Todd's tall frame in the unconscious wish for comfort.

“Some of us do, John, that's right. But not all of us. My Queen was one of the few who wanted to find a solution to live in peace with the Ancients and the other human races living in Pegasus, and she was very clear and strict when it came to her crew respecting and valuing life in general and the right to live of other species and individuals. You must understand that the Wraith living back then before the war against the Ancients brought so much destruction and grief to our galaxy were different from the Wraith you encountered after your arrival. A lot of my brethren have always refused to feed on young women for example because they could be mothers with young children who would die without them. Those Wraith who lived ten thousand years ago were careful not to destroy entire villages, but we had hardly any chance left when you woke up all of us at the same time by accident.”

John stiffened again, but Todd didn't let him pull away. “I didn't mean that as a reproach or an accusation, John. You couldn't know all of that when you came here. You wanted to save your superior and your team, you never meant to set the wheels in motion and let them run out of control like that. Wraith and humans were both victims of the chaos that came over our galaxy after the death of the Keeper, and we all lost so much, but it's pointless to dwell in the past and in regret about things we can't change anymore. But I do believe that we've finally found a way to bring peace to our home again, and this mostly thanks to you, John, so please don't think that I want to blame you.”

“Okay, thank you, I guess. It's still hard for me, but please go on, Todd.”

“The fire was burning everywhere, in my abdomen, in my head and my limbs, I could even feel it in my nails and my hair. It was driving me insane, and it hurt more than anything I could have imagined after the stories other Wraith had told me about this special hunger.  
But when I stood before the cocoons, staring into the eyes of my prey, I tried to turn around and run away. The Queen's officers held me in their iron grip, and one of them growled in my head that I shouldn't freak out like that – because it was just a stupid human from a rather primitive culture.

His eyes weren't the eyes of a stupid human though, and I could see the same pain and fear in them that I was feeling. He wanted to live as much as I wanted to live, and it was the officer who finally ran out of patience and took my right hand to press it against the human's sternum. I don't know how old he was, but he must still have been rather young. My hunger took over control of me, and I started to feed even though I had no clue how the feeding was working actually.

All I could see was his face contorting in unbearable pain when I tore his life out of him, his handsome and youthful features shrinking to those of an incredibly old man.  
I fed and fed, and I couldn't draw back and stop even when he was completely drained of every ounce of life that might still have been left in him. I saw his mouth moving, but I couldn't hear his screams, all I could hear was my own blood rushing through my veins like thunder, becoming louder and louder with every new wave of strength that floated out of him and into me.”

John listened silently to him, and Todd didn't try to keep the self-hatred, shame and pain he had felt so long ago out of his voice. “I stared down at the wrinkled shell that was left of him when it was finally, finally over, and I hated myself because I had just killed another intelligent being that had never done anything bad to me and was yet still craving to do that again and feel the same ecstasy I'd just experienced for the first time.

It's a good thing that we don't need to sleep much when we're freshly fed and that we can't remember our dreams when we wake up from our hibernation, because I can still see his face clearly in my dreams oftentimes – even after ten thousand years. The first days after my first feeding I thought that I would go insane, and without the help of my Queen, I probably would have. I've learned how to live with the killer inside me, with the creature that whispers into my ear that my life is worthier and more precious than theirs, but it took me a rather long time for that.

Then the war came and I learned the hard way that humans are just as merciless when it comes to killing other sentient and intelligent living beings as we Wraith are. Sometimes even crueler. They created us and then tried to erase us and even the memory of us. They killed as many Wraith as possible, and the Ancients had no qualms about killing our worshipers as well – even though they were their own human brothers and sisters. My time in Kolya's prison taught me the hard way what some humans are truly capable of, and after the first years in his bunker, I swore an oath to myself that I would never ever feel sorry for any human I'd have to kill in order to survive.” He paused, his throat too tight to speak for a moment.

“And then you came, John Sheppard. Kolya trapped you and threw you into the prison cell next to mine, and you looked at me with hate and disgust, but also with this unwavering will to survive, a will I'd lost long ago. You were determined not to die in Kolya's prison, and you offered me an alliance I didn't think that you would keep it up and value til the end. Feeding on you after ten years of unbearable pain and starvation had led to me losing most of my reason and sanity, and tasting your delicious life-force was almost too much to bear and rose my desire to drain you completely to levels I'd never reached before.

But when I looked into your eyes, I suddenly remembered him – the first man I'd ever fed upon – and I couldn't bring myself to kill you. I wanted to believe your words so badly, and if it was only to see the moon and the sky again for one last night before I would die. I expected you to kill me, but you let me live and even gave my freedom back to me. You are the one who gave me my trust in humans back, my willingness to believe in the goodness of humans again. Our bond formed when I looked into your eyes for the first time, and it became unbreakable when I fed on you without killing you and gave you the Gift of Life. You are my life savior in so much more than only one way, John, and I will happily spend the rest of my life with proving to you that we Wraith are not the cruel and heartless monsters you've believed us to be for so long. That I am not the monster drawing pleasure out of feeding on your brothers and sisters you thought me to be for so long. I value your life higher than I value my own life, and I would die for you without hesitation.”

Todd went silent, and John absentmindedly stroked over the back of his right hand for a while. “I didn't know that. I couldn't believe – I didn't want to believe – that you're feeling this way about your need to feed, but I have never thought of you as a monster, Todd, even not when I said that I did and threatened to kill you. I have felt this bond between us right from the beginning too, but I couldn't admit to myself that I saw more in you than an ally and perhaps some kind of friend until you came to Earth with us. And even then I still had a hard time being honest about my feelings for you.”

John turned around in his arms to look at Todd. “I want this alliance, and I am glad that Mathilda and Helena are not like all the other Queens I've had to deal with so far. I can feel that they are honest and not a threat to us. Yet I can't promise you that I will learn to trust your race in general. Even if we'll find a cure for the feeding problem, there will most likely still be Wraith out there preferring to live the old way of life. But one thing I can promise you for sure, Todd: That I will always trust you.  
You are my mate, you have been my mate for a very long time, and I am finally ready to really welcome you in my life and treat you as my mate. So if there is anything you want to know about me, just ask me, and I'll do my best to answer your questions and tell you more about me. I'm not that good at talking about my feelings thanks to my family and how I grew up, but it has nothing to do with me not trusting you enough.”

Todd smiled down at him, pulling John close to lean their foreheads together. “I know, John. I can sense that you're trusting me. And if there's something you can't tell me with words, then there are other ways to show me how you feel and what you need. It will take some time for us to really understand each other and learn how to make our relationship work, but I'm willing to work hard on that.”

“Me too, Todd, me too.” John smiled back, and he relaxed in Todd's arms and rested his head on his shoulder, playing absentmindedly with the fastenings of Todd's heavy coat. “Sometimes, when I can't sleep because of all those memories haunting me, I go searching for Rodney because I know that he'll most likely still be working on some science problem.

I will sit there and simply watch him work and talk to him, listening to his complaints about stupid colleagues and colonels that are thinking that he will always save our asses – which is actually right, because he's always saving our asses - no matter what he has to do to make that happen. Or we will go to one of the abandoned corridors and have a race with our radio-controlled toy cars. It's stupid but fun, and it makes me forget what was giving me such a terrible headache beforehand.

Sometimes, we'll just sit on one of the piers and drink beer together, and it always helps me to fall asleep afterwards. We don't need to talk much to understand each other, and I really think that Rodney's the best friend I've ever had...” John started to tell, and Todd wrapped his arms firmly around him and listened to him, his heart beating faster with joy that he had finally won John's trust.

If talking was all they would do tonight, then Todd was more than fine with that, because listening to John's voice and all the things he was finally willing to share with him was what Todd had dreamed of ever since John had told him that all bets were off between them after their successful flight from Kolya's prison; and there were really worse things Todd could imagine than diving deeper into John's world and learning what his mate wanted and how he liked to spend his time.

John was still a mystery to him, and he would probably always be a mystery to him at least partly, but Todd had learned to be patient, and he knew that his patience would be rewarded in the end. One day John would finally be able to tell him that he loved him, and until then, Todd would show him that he loved him too without words.


	3. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd and John are alone in John's quarters, finally completing their bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear Cecio,  
> I'm sorry that finishing this story took me so long, but the last weeks have been rough and real life was not really friendly, and my muse simply doesn't cooperate in a way I would need it. I hope that this chapter is at least somehow worth the long wait! <33
> 
> My dear readers,  
> thank you so much for your feedback, kudos and comments on the first 2 chapters. I wanted to finish this story much earlier, but this chapter was surprisingly hard to write, and Todd and John simply wouldn't stop talking, even when I tried to make them go on with the bonding. The name Todd tells John in this chapter is the 'Wraith-name' I've chosen for my most favorite Wraith ever in some of my other stories for him, and the long explanation of his Wraith name was a spontaneous idea. I hope that you will like them.  
> Please let me know if you liked this last chapter, your feedback is the love and motivation I need for my stories and to keep on writing! <33

They had talked for hours, standing before the large window in John's quarters for some time before they had made their way to John's bed to lay down on it, taking off their boots, John's jacket and Todd's heavy coat, but nothing else.

Todd was lying on his back with John snuggled against his side and his head pillowed on his chest, carding his clawed fingers through John's messy dark hair in a gentle rhythm as he listened to the stories his hazel-eyed human was finally willing to share with him.

Todd would ask some questions now and then to understand better what John was telling him, but only because he didn't know enough about Earth and her culture to always comprehend what John was referring to, and he was careful not to give his mate the feeling that he was judging him in any way. John had still been tensed and cautious at the beginning, but he relaxed gratefully and surprisingly quickly when he realized that Todd had no intention to take advantage of his newly gained knowledge and blame him for things John had done or which had happened in his life – neither for those that had taken place before they'd met, nor for those which had happened after their first encounter.

Todd had no right to judge John for the decisions he'd made in the past, and as a warrior he understood the human colonel much better than most people did – even John's brothers-in-arms, superiors and subordinates. The Wraith Commander guessed by what he knew about John and Atlantis that Major Lorne was probably the only one who'd never blamed John for anything – at least not openly – while Ronon Dex clearly showed his disapproval about John wanting to ally with the hated enemy. There was only one of John's superiors Todd thought capable of truly understanding John's way of thinking and feeling, but General O'Neill was too far away to make a difference, and the Wraith felt touched and angry at John's behalf at the same time when he picked up on the strong wave of relief and gratitude the colonel was sending out unconsciously.

Relief and gratitude about the true miracle that he'd eventually found a kindred spirit and a real soulmate he could share the burdens with that had weighed so heavily on his mind and on his fragile human shoulders for so long. Shared burdens didn't weigh as much as those one had to carry alone, and John was much more talkative than Todd had thought possible at first, telling him things Todd was pretty sure that nobody else knew about them.

John's voice was a little bit sore and rough when he was done with re-telling his life to Todd, thankfully accepting the silent comfort Todd's warm embrace and gentle caresses offered. Todd was aware that there were a lot of things he still didn't know about John, but a start was made, and there would be another time for more confessions.

John had gone silent a while ago, and Todd thought that he'd fallen asleep, but then John stirred in his arm and lifted his head from his shoulder to gaze down at him. Todd returned his wary glance openly, gently stroking his warm stubbly cheek when John gifted him with his unique crooked smile.

“Thank you for your trust, John,” he said, his eyes glowing dark golden in the dimmed light of John's quarters, “I will not betray it.”

“I know that you won't do that, Todd,” John gave back, his voice still sounding strained, but his body was relaxed and pliant against the much stronger Wraith body. It surely didn't happen often that John let his guard down and allowed himself to relax and be so close to someone who could harm or even kill him as easily as Todd would be able to do because of his inhuman strength, and that he did now, not even peering at where his weapon was lying on the bedside table, filled Todd with joy and gratitude. John sighed and reached out to trace along the lines of Todd's tattoo around his left eye. “Thank you for listening to me without judging. I didn't know how much I'd actually missed having someone I could talk to until now.”

“You're my mate, John. I'm not here to judge you.”

“Yes, you are. My mate, I mean,” John whispered thoughtfully, bending down to graze Todd's cool lips with his own. “Do Wraith know what to do with their razors when they kiss?” he asked curiously, and Todd chuckled and gently pulled John's head down. “You'll have to try an find out the answer to that question yourself, human,” he challenged the hazel-eyed colonel, and John let out a breathless laugh at his lips before he deepened their kiss. “I trust you not to bite me, Wraith,” he murmured into Todd's mouth, and the Wraith spent the next minutes with proving to his human that Wraith actually knew how to kiss and what to do with their agile tongues when they shared this kind of intimacy.

“Your trust in me will not be disappointed,” he assured John tenderly when the human finally drew back from his mouth again, his face flushed and his hair disheveled where Todd had dragged his claws through it during their passionate kiss.

“I think so. Hmm, you're wearing far too many clothes for my liking – and so do I.” John gazed down at him like a hungry predator, and Todd felt a powerful wave of desire, possessiveness and pride surge through him. This amazing human was his and his alone, and Todd would happily spend the next decades with teaching his mate the pleasures that awaited him in the arms of a Wraith as hopelessly in love as he actually was with John.

“Maybe you should start to undress me then, Sheppard,” he gave back, not trying to keep the possessiveness and desire out of his multi-toned and now pretty husky voice. John's predatory grin deepened. “That's what I wanted to do every single time I saw you in this ridiculous gray jumpsuit back then when we were stuck on Earth. I could barely look at you without feeling the strong urge to rip the offending thing from your body.”

“It's a pity that you never gave in to this urge, my mate. I would have preferred to be naked rather than having to make a fool of myself by wearing this strange kind of sack for any more minute. Your human taste when it comes to appropriate clothing is pretty weird sometimes.”

“I have to agree with you. But I don't think that I would want others to see you naked, my mate. Wraith are not the only ones feeling possessive about their mates. I really didn't like the way some people on Earth were checking you out,” John murmured with sparks dancing in his beautiful haze-green eyes, and he bent down to shut Todd up with another deep and ardent kiss before he even got the chance to comment on the confession he'd just made.

Todd couldn't help but feel pleased that John had been jealous now and then, it was good to know that he wasn't the only one minding the way others sometimes looked at John, trying to make a move on him regardless of the signals of disinterest the colonel was sending out. John's team and most of the people living in Atlantis were family – or Hive to speak in Wraith terms – but it was different on Earth or other planets, and Todd wouldn't let anybody else come near John in the future – now that he had finally the right to be possessive and protective over him.

John's tongue licking curiously around in his mouth distracted him from his musings, and Todd responded to the human's heated kiss with the same passion, his hands finding the fastenings of John's clothes to open them and remove the garments from his body. He'd never seen his mate naked so far, and he couldn't wait to get his hands on him and explore the fascinating landscape of John's human and so very male body. John smelled so temptingly and deliciously to him, the pheromones of human arousal perfuming the air and making Todd's mouth water with anticipation. Wraith actually had a strong libido, and even more when they were in love and had found their true mate, and Todd had suppressed his desire for John's sake for so long that he feared that he would forget all reason and scare him with his overwhelming wish to mount him right there and then and make him his in every possible way forever.

John growled when Todd's pants didn't come off as easily as he needed them to come off, and Todd was tempted to just rip John's shirt from his body and tear it in the process. But damaging his uniform was not a clever idea to start their new relationship with, and the Wraith resorted to just utter his own impatience and frustration with a throaty snarl instead.

More snarls, growls and hisses followed while they were busied with undressing each other without damaging the garments that were still in their way, keeping them from exploring each other without any barriers, and Todd had to take deep breaths when they were finally lying naked on the hopelessly crumbled bedsheets. John's dark hair was a complete mess and his haze-green eyes almost black with his desire for his Wraith mate, his pale skin shimmering pink because of his strong arousal. It was fascinating to see how the appearance of humans changed when they were sexually aroused, and Todd almost regretted that it wasn't the same with his own race, because it would have made things easier for them if John could rely on such visible signs as well.

There were only few like dilated pupils or a stronger smell – which humans normally didn't notice because their sense of smell was too dull for that. John was different from any other human Todd had ever met though, and it was apparent that he noticed Todd's dilated pupils and his changed scent, because he sniffed at his throat and licked over the spot where Todd's pulse was tangible under his greenish skin.

Maybe it was because of the Iratus bug DNA that was still left in John's body that increased his sensitivity for Wraith in general and Todd in special, but this was really not the right moment to muse about scientific problems, and Todd rather focused on the pleasurable feeling John's caress aroused in him. “You smell good,” John murmured against his throat, “different from what I knew so far.”

“That's because I desire you, John Sheppard,” Todd said, and John chuckled and craned his neck to take a good look at the apparent proof of Todd's strong desire for him. “Yeah, I can see that you do,” the colonel drawled with both anticipation and doubts coloring his voice. “You're really... hmm... impressive.”

The fire of his longing for his mate was raging inside Todd's body, but he would restrain himself and not risk doing anything that would hurt the man who meant so much to him. “We'll do it your way, John. I won't hurt you, and you will set up the pace and be in charge of everything,” he promised, and the kiss he got in reward assured him that John wanted this as much as he wanted it.

“It's been a while,” the colonel confessed when they parted again, “and even longer that I was together with another male, so thank you.” Todd smiled at him, and John smiled back, watching his fingers trail along the dark lines of the tattoos that covered his torso. Todd hardly dared to breathe, and he exhaled sharply when John's expression changed from curiosity and fascination to open admiration and raw desire. He hadn't realized how much he'd feared that John would loathe his appearance, and he was glad that he was already lying because his knees felt weak with the relief washing over him at John's adoring glance.

“You're beautiful, Todd. I always found you attractive – even when I was too stubborn and trapped in my prejudices to admit that, but I didn't know how beautiful you actually are,” John whispered, and Todd pulled his head down with a growl to kiss him again, pushing his tongue deep into the delicate and wet cavern of John's mouth. They kissed each other until they ran out of breath, and John braced his elbow against the mattress and rested his chin in his left palm to explore Todd's body with his right hand. Todd was so hard that it was painful, but he ignored the ache of his need and lay completely still to give John the chance to get familiar with him at his own pace.

“I have seen Wraith without clothes beforehand, but they never looked beautiful to me – not as beautiful as you are, Todd. Have your tattoos a special meaning?” John asked, following the curves and complicated patterns that wound themselves from Todd's shoulders along his breast muscles and stomach until they reached his groin where they ended right where the proof of Todd's maleness was jutting proudly between his legs.

“Yes, they have.” Todd gasped out because John's caresses aroused him strongly. “Every male Wraith has to earn his tattoos, and they always are a combination of the Hive where he earned them with his deeds and the name his Queen gifted him with – if she found him worthy enough to wear a name. The drones will get the tattoo of their Hive if they survive for long enough to have one, but the officers and scientists can get their special tattoos and and names if they please their Queen. It can take centuries to achieve that goal, and only the high ranking officers and scientists have tattoos on their faces to show their rank to strange Wraith from other Hives.”

“I see.” John sounded intrigued, and he took his time to caress each of the adorned lines on Todd's chiseled torso. “What about the Queens? Is it common use for them to wear tattoos?”

“Some of them do, some of them don't. They actually don't need them to show which Hive they belong to. It's hard to explain to someone without telepathic abilities. Every female Wraith leaving her birth Hive to have her own one will build it herself and imprint it with her mindset and her touch, and the Hive won't lose them, even not when she dies. Every other Wraith will know her birth Hive and her home Hive when they meet her right from the start. A Queen's name is an unique combination of her birth Hive, the Hive she has built herself and the things she has achieved. Every Queen has a name, but not every male Wraith.”

“I wasn't aware of that. The Queens and the male Wraith I met before you never wanted to tell me their names, they even refused to admit that names actually exist in your culture,” John sounded astonished, and Todd smiled and stroked his face. “That's because our names define us in a way human names can never do, and we are not very keen to share them with strangers that don't belong to our Hive. Apart from that are they also hard to explain to somebody else, and sharing our name with another person is an act of great intimacy. Not quite like sharing life-force is, but it comes close to that.”

“Oh wow.” John gazed at Todd from under his lashes. The Wraith could feel John's desire for him poking against his thigh, and he longed to trap him under his body and sheathe himself deep inside the human's tight heat, but this here was obviously important to his mate, and Todd was actually grateful and happy that John trusted him enough to ask him all these questions and that he wanted to learn more about him and his origin and culture.

“You don't need to tell me your name if you don't want to,” John said after a moment of silence, and it was clear to see that he meant what he said and that he wouldn't be offended if Todd decided that it was too early for such an intimate act.

“You are my mate, John. Of course I want to share my Hive name with you,” he assured his human gently, and John smiled at him, tracing new patterns over his chest and stomach, waiting patiently for Todd to explain his real Wraith name to him.

“My Hive name is not one or two single words like human names are,” Todd now began to explain, “but a description of a Wraith's identity and his deeds. My name would best be translated as _'the one who fights at Golden Star's right side, serving her with wisdom, honor and courage.'_ But this description is still not the complete name because it only makes sense on board a Hive and connected with my brethren, and the short version of my name for head-blind or impaired Wraith and humans is _'Starfighter.'_ There are only very few living beings knowing about it, and I feel honored to share it with you, John.”

“I feel honored that you were willing to tell me your name, my mate,” John whispered, and Todd could see that something was weighing heavily on his mind. “The name you gave me is an old and honorable name, John. I know that you didn't think of that when you named me, but that doesn't diminish the meaning of my new name. I had dealt with humans for a long time when we met to know that your race needs names to address and differentiate other people, and I was actually surprised that it took you so long to choose a name for me.  
I do believe that your subconsciousness was searching for an appropriate name for me after all we'd gone through together, and I found my suspicion confirmed when I searched for the meaning of Todd in your data base. My Queen _Golden Star_ would surely have agreed with you that the animal fox living on your Earth would be a good heraldic animal for me.”

“So you'll forgive me for the stupid name I gave you?” John asked, and Todd pulled him close and kissed him tenderly. “There's nothing to forgive, John. I love my name not only because it was you who gave it to me, but also because of its meaning. Plus, it's surely not stupid, but honorable and actually very fitting.” The ancient Commander growled passionately with another deep kiss.

“Your real name suits you much better, Starfighter. Your Queen must have been beautiful and amazing, I would have liked to meet her,” John whispered against Todd's lips, and the Wraith felt a lump in his throat when he thought back of his first mate, the most beautiful and kindest Queen that had ever lived. Todd had never been able to look at any other Queen again after her death without comparing her with Golden Star, and he had been grateful that his natural preferences when it came to intimate encounters swung towards other males when he was free to choose his bed partners. Golden Star had been the only one he'd truly loved before he'd met John, and he was certain that she would have approved of his choice and liked the astonishing human with the hazel-green eyes and the unruly dark hair.

“She was, and she would have liked you, my mate. Plus, I have gotten used to 'Todd' over the past years, so there is no need for you to call me by another name than Todd in the future, John,” Todd said, and his human let out a growl. “I wouldn't want to share your real Wraith name with anybody else anyway. But there will be moments like this one when I will call you Starfighter, because that's what you truly are, my beautiful Wraith. You are a strong and honorable fighter coming from the stars, and I want to honor your true nature, Todd. I don't expect you to become human for me, I've always appreciated you for who you actually are – even though I couldn't show you that for so long.”

“Thank you, John.” Todd let his eyes roam over John's flushed face, and the powerful wave of longing and need coming off of his human made him bare his teeth with hardly restrained passion. “I want you, John, words cannot express how much I want you.”

“I want you just as much, Starfighter,” John breathed against his mouth as he captured his lips in another fierce kiss, and he didn't object when Todd turned them around until he lay trapped beneath the Wraith's strong body, their hands exploring one another impatiently. There would be times when they would be able to draw their mating out and pleasure each other in every possible way, but tonight they needed to feel each other as close as two beings could ever be, and John spread his legs for Todd and jerked his head at the nightstand beside his bed.

“We'll need lube,” he whispered hoarsely, and he didn't need to say that twice to make Todd pull at the drawer and search for the small bottle his mate kept there. John grinned when Todd eyed the bottle curiously. “I put it there before I came looking for you on the pier. Carson luckily didn't ask any questions what I wanted it for...”

“Dr. Beckett is indeed a sensitive and sensible man,” Todd agreed, coating the fingers of his left hand with the cool liquid. He had trimmed his nails to the needed shortness when he had had some time to himself after Mathilda and Helena's departure, hoping that he hadn't mistaken John's words and signals when they had been on board Mathilda's Hive. John seemed to trust him that he wouldn't hurt him because he snuggled close to him when Todd made himself comfortable at his side, stroking and caressing his back and his sensitive spine. “You have some interesting ridges there,” he murmured against Todd's lips, and Todd chuckled throatily. “That's not the only part of a Wraith's body that has some interesting ridges,” he teased his human mate, and John's eyes snapped open. “Uhm, I see. I hope they're not too sharp! Maybe I should examine them before you take me.”

“That wouldn't be a clever thing to do, I fear. I don't think that I'll be able to hold myself back if you touch me there now, John.” Todd confessed, and John chuckled and purred into his ear while he continued to stroke up and down on Todd's spine instead of trying to explore the lower regions of Todd's body and drive him to the very edge of his self-control. Todd snaked his left hand between their bodies, and John tensed up only briefly before he relaxed again, moaning into Todd's mouth when the Wraith circled his entrance with his fingers. “That feels good, please don't stop,” John encouraged him, and Todd growled passionately and deepened their kiss.

“I won't stop, my mate. I will make you mine tonight, all mine.” Todd promised him with a low growl, and the hazel-eyed colonel shivered in his arms and arched his back into Todd's touch. John's caresses set his whole body on fire, and the Wraith pushed into his tight core with his digit after a few more circles, hardly meeting any resistance. His mate was wide and eager to feel him inside his body, and Todd was amazed how perfectly they fitted together and how naturally being together with John felt. Most of his brethren were hesitant to take a human as their mate because they couldn't bond mentally with them without problems, but Todd was willing to refrain himself from trying to connect with John's mind for his sake. John's experiences with mental connections with Wraith were painful and surely nothing John was keen to repeat, and Todd would wait patiently until his human mate would be ready for this kind of bonding.

They kissed each other the entire time, and John's hands were gentle and passionate upon his body while he prepared his human for their first time, giving Todd the feeling that he was cherished and desired and accepted, a feeling he'd never had again ever since he'd lost his first mate millennia ago.

The next minutes passed by in a heated blur of whispered words of passion and almost desperate caresses, both of them becoming bolder and surer of what they were doing as time went by, and Todd gasped out when John grasped his feeding hand and pressed it against his lips to caress it, licking over the sensitive slit with the tip of his tongue. Todd had never dared to hope that John would go so far, that his human mate would ever be able to look at his right hand with passion and longing and not with fear and contempt.

Shivers ran down on his back when John dipped his tongue into the slit to tease it, shivers of raw need and painful desire. The feeding hand was one of the most erogenous and sensitive spots of a Wraith's body, and Todd was pretty sure that John could make him come just from caressing his feeding hand as passionately as he did it now. Enzyme started to leak out of the slit, and Todd flexed his claws with a low moan, the motions of his digits buried deep inside John's pulsing channel becoming faster. John hummed contentedly against his palm, blowing softly over the feeding organ. Todd's entire body jerked, and he snarled ardently, his hard member throbbing with the urge to sheathe itself deep into the human's tight heat and possess him until everyone would know whom the colonel with the hazel-green eyes belonged to.

“You like that, my Wraith, don't you?” John whispered, his heated glance feeling like a real caress. “Yessss!” was all he could hiss before the word ended in another moan, more enzyme dripping from his palm.

“I'll keep that in mind for another time, Starfighter,” John murmured with a mischievous smile, “now to the other ridges you were talking about earlier. I think that your enzyme might help us to make things easier and go more smoothly if I remember the effect correctly.”

John coated his fingers with the enzyme before Todd had the chance to realize what he wanted to do, smearing it over his aroused cock. Todd almost bit his eager human, drawing in a shaky breath while he lay completely still, the tender touch of warm fingers exploring the evidence of his maleness curiously almost too much for him to keep his composure.

“Oh wow, you feel amazing, Starfighter. I think I like your ridges. Can't wait to feel them inside me,” John murmured, pulling Todd on top of him when he was satisfied with his work. Todd was slick not only with the lube and the enzyme, but also with the pleasure their kisses and John's caresses had milked from him, and his mate was more than ready for him, not flinching away from him when Todd entered him, slowly and carefully to savor this special moment to the fullest.

He had waited so long for this to happen, waited so long for John to become his mate in every sense of the meaning, and Todd never wanted this to end, never to part from his human again. John was his mate, the one being completing him, giving his life a new meaning Todd had thought to be lost, gone forever when Kolya had trapped him so many years ago.

He searched for John's lips when he was finally sheathed deep inside him, keeping his hips still to give him time to adjust to his size and the feeling of being stretched and filled to his limits. John's features were relaxed, his eyes closed, and Todd thought that he had never seen anything more beautiful than his face, suffused with trust and deep emotions.

“Need you, Todd,” John whispered hoarsely when Todd didn't move, “need you so much,” and the Wraith knew that John didn't only mean that he wanted him to move with that. “Need you too, John,” he murmured tenderly, kissing him gently when he finally began to move, pulling out of John's secret core and pushing back into him in a slow and gentle rhythm, soft rolling motions that made both of them gasp out in pleasure that they were finally united.

John moaned into his mouth and pulled at his head, burying his fingers in Todd's tousled white mane to deepen their kiss, his hips moving urgently against Todd's body of their own will. His manhood was trapped between their stomachs, hard and leaking, and Todd shifted his weight to push his hand between them and stroke John's twitching cock in time to his deep thrusts.

“Oh wow, don't stop, please don't stop! Ah yes, right there, deeper, I need you deeper!” John begged, his voice so hoarse that it was hardly recognizable any longer. “I have no intention to stop, my mate,” the Wraith growled very pleased, and John opened his eyes to smile at him.

“Being the mate of a Wraith has some benefits,” he drawled breathlessly, and Todd bent down to kiss the smug grin from his lips. “Is that so, human?” he asked, and John groaned and arched into his next thrust with a heavy shudder.

“Yep. Your special ridges feel amazing, they... uuuhh, do that again!” John shivered again, his cock growing harder in Todd's hand.

Todd was all too happy to obey and started to move harder and faster until he was driving into him with wanton abandon, the heat of his climax building at the end of his spine until it spread out into every cell of his body.

John was close as well, his human cock throbbing and pulsing in Todd's fingers, and his next thrust against John's prostate sent him flying over the edge, hot ecstasy erupting from his exploding manhood. The sensations of John's walls clenching around his own shaft with every new wave of John's forceful climax was too much for him, and Todd came together with his mate, snarling and growling his satisfaction against John's vulnerable throat as he released himself deep inside his mate, painting the human's tender walls crumbling around his pumping cock with his Wraith seed. His teeth ached with the drive to sink themselves into John's neck and mark him for everyone to see, and he bit down when John instinctively tilted his head to the side, inviting his Wraith mate to complete their bond and give in to his desire to claim him this way.

Todd reached out with his thoughts, and he was prepared to draw back instantly again if John wasn't ready for this kind of contact, but the hazel-eyed colonel surprised him once more, because he opened his mind for him without hesitation.

_'John, my mate.'_ Todd was very careful not to scare him, but John was relaxed and didn't fight against his intrusion in his mind. _'Todd...'_ he whispered in Todd's head, and the Wraith closed his eyes and rested their foreheads together, the waves of their shared ecstasy slowly fading to the warm glow of the aftermath.

It was overwhelming, and it meant so much to Todd that John was trusting him enough to let him into his head and his thoughts. Their minds touched and interwove, emotions flowing back and forth between them until Todd couldn't tell any longer which thoughts and emotions belonged to him and which belonged to his human mate.

Words were not needed between them any longer, Todd knew how John felt about him, and John would always know from now on how much he meant to Todd, that he was the center of his world and the reason why Todd lived and breathed. The strong river of their deep love for each other floated back and forth below the surface of their coherent thoughts and their emotions, warming them from the inside and filling them with hope for a bright and happy peaceful future.

Their bond was complete now, and it would never break again, stronger than all fears and doubts they could have, stronger than hate and war.

Wraith and humans would be united in love and friendship from now on, just like he and John were united in love, and this was all the Wraith with the two names Starfighter and Todd had ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to read about John and Todd's first night, please let me know by leaving kudos and/or comments, I could be tempted to write a second chapter then. :-)


End file.
